Because I’m aging (gracefully, of course), I am often asked, “Do you have kids?’ or, even better, “How many kids do you have?” or, sometimes, “How old are your kids?”
It’s not meant to be an awkward question – but it always feels like it to me – especially as I debate my answer.
I mean, yes – I do have potential kids.
Well, hopefully – although the biological clock may disagree. But I’m sure they’re in there in their pre-fertilized form because I often have cravings for chocolate and peanut butter and I love pickles and ice cream. Although, to be fair, I’ve never had them together. I also have mood swings and weight gain – so really I am just one (major) step from having actual real kids.
On the other hand…there are two beings that do live and breathe at my house that require my utmost attention – including food, water and the occasional butt wipe. Which, in my opinion…makes them very much my children.
So to answer those questions ~
Yes, I have kids.
I have two kids.
They are 13 and 6.
Girl and a boy. Kylie and Jack.
They get along most of the time although they are known to push the limits on the nightly wrestling match.
They fight for my attention and there are many nights when the couch gets a bit crowded…and I’m the one who gets screwed because we’d all do anything for those little cuties, right?
That’s Jack (cat) and Kylie ~ the red blanket is actually my beloved electric throw…to keep me warm during the winter. When I’m allowed to use it.
They stalk the couch when they see the red blanket…waiting for me to get a drink or something, and then pouncing. Hardly fair.
Jack will sit there playing it cool – no, way, man, I don’t play with dogs….
About the time Kylie gives up and walks away, Jack will launch himself into (or onto) her path.
After some playtime, Kylie will let out “Crap with those CLAWS” wimper and the gig’s up.
So there you have it – yes, I have kids. Furry little, nose licking, over-excited kids.
Who give me more of a “Welcome!!!!!!!!!!!” when I come out of a quick trip to the bathroom then most people get after a year in hiding.
They never complain about dinner.
They rarely talk back.
They don’t outgrow their clothes.
They don’t ask to borrow the car.
They hardly fight with each other.
I’d say they are actually two of the best kids I know.